Granny Rant: “Wearing White”

 
All right! It's Memorial Day already. "The Beginning of Summer". What's to be so happy about? Pretty soon, the roads will be clogged with happy campers, boats, and tourist flat-landers. I won't be able to get a decent nap because of the incessant noise from all of those roving rug-rats no longer confined to a class room. Terrible…I tell you. Lawnmowers, chain saws, fireworks in the middle of the night!
 
And then there is the parade of pornography to insult the eyes. Young girls on the beach wearing nothing but their skimpiest skivvies (a disgrace to their Brownie troop). Shirtless, muscular studs flexing their muscles, inviting indecent behavior. Have they no shame???
 
Then there are all of the ninnies with misguided fashion sense. They have no sense at all, if you ask me. What pea-brained genius came up with the rules of when a person can, with no fear of reprisal, wear white clothes and when they cannot?
 
PITOOY! Most people shouldn't wear white anyway. The moment after they button or zip themselves up, something will spill or splash and they'll end up looking like filthy urchins.
 
 
Is this Halloween or what?
 
 
He looks really happy about it.
 
 
Her wicked step-sisters should have kept her in.
 
 
Don't even start with me!
 
 
Polar bear white? She should be shot.
 
 
Off with her head, too.
 
 
Yeah—they can be proud of this!
 
 
The only sensible one in the bunch.
 
 
 
'Memorial Day White'–huh? Be careful how you use it.
You don't want a run-in with the fashion police.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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